Songstress Miriam Mukape popularly known as Mampi has bared her inner feelings about the stigma single women suffer for their status.
Mampi has glorified her single status as urged spinsters not to be bothered by their status. In a no holds barred moment Mampi also talked about not bowing to the pressures of motherhood.
BELOW IS HER POSTING:
WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED???
So I have been getting a lot of people asking why I’m not married yet and I felt like I needed to address the elephant in the room. I am certain I am not the only single woman facing such kind of pressure to get married.” When are you getting married?”
Is becoming a popular question not only to me but many other women in our society. I would have chosen to ignore this and focused on my interests but I decided to take this opportunity to speak for me and many other women who are subjected to such pressure.
This has pushed many women into marriages of convenience for the sake of fitting in which leads so many women into unhappy marriages, high levels of divorce and in worst cases Gender based violence.
Marriage is a beautiful thing and when one enters this institution it must not be because society pressured them to jump in but because they found the right partner and they decided to get married. Secondly it’s very unfair to make single women feel bad about themselves just because of their marital status, icibemba chitila ati “ubushimbe tebulwele” so stop treating it as such.
As for me. I am a strong independent hard working woman who believes that marriage is not something you just wake up and jump into. When I do find someone I am compatible with someone whom I share the same values with and loves me for me not because of what he saw on stage or who he thinks I am then I will gladly do it, I will not just date or marry anybody that comes my way with a proposal to impress the society.
One thing I’d love the public to understand is that life in the limelight is not for the weak at heart, you ought to be smart enough to know that some men will fall in love with your image and not you as a person this is one of the many reasons why I can never rush into such commitments without wisely scanning potential spouses just cause he can fit a ring on it ,no I am not doing it, I will not marry to please society otherwise I would be misleading so many people that look up to me that it’s okay to succumb to the pressure.
Another question is “when are you having a child?” Honestly just stop it we are more than that, yes children are beautiful and mothering should not be limited to entering labour ward because being a mother is having a heart to raise a child which am already doing.
I am mothering my nephew whom I love whole heartedly which makes me a mother I will not have a biologic child whose father is not my husband no I am not doing it , As for many single moms I have great respect for you as mothers hustling it out for those beautiful kids and my not having a child as a single woman is just a personal choice. I will not do it because this is me and these are my principals and I live by them.
I believe that not many moms planned to be single moms it’s just circumstances that put them in such positions and some of them it could have been cause of these same pressures of expecting women to have children at a certain age.
Finally for those that are still bothered about my marital status. I will get married and have children when God provides me with a suitable partner…and if not I will stay happy knowing that my creators purpose for me is not just about marriage and kids because those are just blessings instead.
For those that know me well , it is clear that I’m not moved by the worlds perception of me if I did I would have drowned in it lost my way but NO I know who I am and for all you single women out there facing these challenges do not allow society to define you. Only your creator has the final say in your life.
Being single is not a crime so stay that way until God brings the right man focus on your goals. Find yourself and know that marriage wont complete you, it only compliments. Have a blessed day!!!