IF a “jobless and lazy” man has to depend on me to survive, I will make him wash my underwear and perform house chores, says a businesswoman who sees parasitic men as a growing problem in Zambia.
Mirriam Namusokwe Kaziya, owner of Millie Beauty Products, along with her colleagues, are turning the heat on jobless, lazy men who depend on women to survive suggesting that it is justified to make such men wash their partners’ underwear.
In an interview, the women expressed uniform views against providing for “lazy men”. “Just like there are female gold diggers, there are also men who are lazy and gold diggers,” Mirriam explains.
Mirriam explains that through her business, she interacts with many women who have complained about jobless men who have made it a tactic to live off women and their money.
“But they [women] should not entertain them. It doesn’t matter how a man will touch you, it’s not about sex, there are a lot more things happening in this world. The problem with us women is that sometimes we entertain a lot of rubbish. Some men just sit, watch TV, changing channels; he even keeps the car keys as if the car is his and making a lot of demands,” she observes.
“As for me, you will wash my underwear, shine the floor in the house since I am taking the role of the man and you can’t refuse since I am the one working.”
In fact, Mirriam sees marriages of jobless, lazy men as the source of growing trend of infidelity since the woman needs to establish multiple sources of income to provide for the family.
“Even if your wife is a CEO, do something like even slashing grass in places like Kabulonga, you will be respected. If you don’t work, you will be insulted, you will be washing underwear and you will be doing a lot more other different things because you are lazy. I respect a man who hustles, even if you are a conductor but you’re hustling,” added Mirriam.
Another businesswoman, Elizabeth Malama said women were designed to be provided for by men.
She says the hard work that women were putting in had woken them up to the reality of how lazy Zambian men were.
“This is an error we have realised just how lazy Zambian are. A guy is talking about potential at 40. We are having 40 plus men, capable men sleeping in our houses, we feed them, they found us with our children. They eat our nshima, drink our tea at the end of the day they even drive our cars. My father used to refuse to eat chicken whose source he did not know but these days a man can come to your house, eat your nshima and drink your tea but does not feel a thing. And the worst thing is when he finds money, he runs away and he saying you are not my type,” Elizabeth said.
“And men that depend on women cheat a lot because by nature they need someone to take care of them.”
Elizabeth urged men to be innovative, hardworking and not depend on women to survive.
“A man providing for the family actually comes from the bible. As a woman, you are just supposed to be a helper. Men have become so lazy that they want to get married instead of them marrying. And the majority of the men being kept are not respected,” adds Madalitso Banda Mpande, another businesswoman.
Madalitso said it is wrong for a man to stay home and wait for a woman to provide for him.
Another woman with similar views, Lillian Kalunga Manchinchi said some men were so lazy and dependent on women to extents of even waiting for women to buy simple things like shaving sticks for them.
She said it was painful and stressing to feed and look after grown men who do not want to work.
Lillian advised fellow women not to pick on men who were not doing anything and make them their husband.
“Men are saying this country has no jobs, but this country has money. You can sell shirts and shoes in Kamwala. It’s stressing to live someone who pretends to love you when they are just after your money,” added Lillian.